April 20, 2013 • 7 notes

Troll or Derby

As an author, I meet a lot of other authors. You might even say we have  a secret club that meets in an Art Deco warehouse hideout every Thursday night to craft our nefarious plan of total literary conquest. 

All right, we don’t. It would be awesome, though, right? Maybe I’ll put that on my ‘To-Do’ list: “find awesome warehouse hideout for literary domination’ing…”

My friend Red Tash has a great book, and it’s on sale this week. It’s funny, exciting, and highly entertaining. Also it’s dark fantasy, which isn’t a genre you hear from a lot.

“Your parents probably won’t want you to read this book.  Read it, anyway.  Five stars.”  Ian Seta, Floating Leaves Reviews / Indie Bookshelf

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Troll Or Derby: A Fairy Wicked Tale is the story of Deb, a punk kid from the wrong side of the trailer park.  In her rural Indiana hometown, Deb can’t fit in, so all she wants to do is skate away.  She’s not into line dancing or partying it up, and she can’t sit still long enough to escape into a good book.  No, every time Deb rolls to a stop, her alcoholic mom is hollering for another pack of cigarettes, or another six pack of Bud.  Making matters worse, Deb’s portly beauty queen sister Gennifer is the town’s “It girl,” a stark contrast to Deb’s exceptional lack of charisma; her closest friend is either the old man who runs the roller skating rink, or the annoying neighbor who’s had a crush on her since he discovered he had a penis.  As if all of that weren’t enough for any girl to handle, Deb is queer, and she’s starting to realize that even if that side of her personality doesn’t define her, it makes her a target for high school bullies.

Skating is the only thing that brings Deb joy; the rink is the only place where she can forget her troubles and lose herself in the speed and the exhilaration of living, one blistering lap at a time.  Out on the rink, she forgets about her Mom’s ever-present breakdown.  She forgets about the fact that Gennifer is dating the town sleaze, and probably using meth.  She forgets all about the bullying, the name-calling, and the hundreds of days between now and graduation.  Out on the rink, there is only this fleeting moment, and Deb is the one in control.  Skating might as well be flying, and Deb is the hottest chick on the hardwood when she straps on eight wheels.  Skates?  They might as well be wings, and someday she’ll use them to fly away from this town.

Everything changes when Gennifer is kidnapped by her horrible boyfriend, and secrets begin to come out.  Deb’s mother turns out not to be more like a legal guardian, the old man who owns the rink might be a troll, and Deb’s discovers magical powers she didn’t know she had.  Before she can stop to catch her breath, Deb’s on the trail of a murderous monster and deep in the realm of the bad fae—and by bad fae, dear reader, I do, of course include trolls.

Not all trolls are baddies, though, and not everyone Deb meets is out to to tear her wings off—just most.  She soon meets Harlow, the benevolent loner who takes her in for as long as she’ll stay.  A gravel-voiced rock singer who lives in a garbage dump, Harlow may be a troll, but he’s got a heart of gold.  The question is, can a girl like Deb learn to trust a fella like Harlow?  Deb’s fairy nature keeps her constantly on the move—can Harlow tell her all she needs to know before the lure of an illicit roller derby ring pulls her into its wicked game? 

In an odyssey through Amish Rumspringa, biker bars, trailer parks, Bingo halls, flea markets, fairy realms, trolls underworlds, roller derby, tractor pulls, dungeon cells, and rock and roll concerts, Deb slowly uncover her own truth as she tries to do what’s right in all the wrong places.  Love her or hate her, once you roll with Deb, you’ll never see the world the same.

Troll Or Derby is now on sale for $.99!  Grab it here: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iTunes | Kobo

April 5, 2013 • 21 notes

Oh gosh, I have a tumblr!

I keep forgetting, so sorry to neglect you Tumblr-ers. I will think of something fun to post soon. Oh wait, here, have a photo! One of my favorites from Wondercon in Annaheim.

March 22, 2013 • 4 notes
Q
What do you do to stay in shape? I am always looking for more workout tips.
Anonymous
A

I do CrossFit three times a week and I find it’s been the most effective for me of all of the (many) exercise routines I’ve tried. I get bored while working out, and CrossFit is always different. I also like that I feel like I’m training for some Apocalyptic disaster: the exercises you do are all directly applicable to real world situations and needs. It’s really rough/difficult when you start, but you definitely get fast results. Or I did, at least.

March 22, 2013 • 3 notes
Q
what's your religion?
Anonymous
A

Stewardship.  

Basically, I’m agnostic but I do feel humanity has a purpose on this planet. That purpose is to fight entropy to the best of your ability and to leave the planet a little better, or at least no worse, then when you arrived on it. That is where being a good steward comes in. Being a good steward can be accomplished in a number of ways: Maintaining your home in good condition, taking care of those unable to take care of themselves, trying to help the environment, rescuing animals, building something—basically it means my life goal is to contribute and do something that makes the world better. 

ETA: For those curious, I was raised in the Presbyterian church. 

March 22, 2013 • 1 note
Q
When you were home schooled was it hard to make friends? I was never good at making friends, did you just walk up to strangers and I'm Geneveieve and I think batman is awesome? That's something I could never do. I was very insecure.
hylian-jeremy
A

I made friends through Home School PE and all of the other extra curricular activities I did. I think if you have a hard time making friends, it’s great to join a regular activity where you interact with a large group of people that remains the same over a period of time. School is the obvious choice, but there are other ways to do this—work, volunteering, joining groups and clubs with similar interests. And it is easy as walking up to a person and starting a conversation. “Hey, I’m so and so. I’m new to this  (insert activity here), have you been doing it for a while? That’s cool! Here is a related question about what you said….here is another question that shows I listened to what you said prior and that I’m interested in you as a person. Now I am going to pause to give you a chance to ask me a follow-up question. If you don’t ask a follow-up question or conversation isn’t flowing by this point, it might be best for me to try talking to another person.”

The key is, making friends is awkward for everyone. Most people have established friend groups and it’s tough breaking in on that. The idea is that they have to get used to seeing you on a regular basis and used to your personality quirks. You probably will not make friends with people right off the bat, but you can have a nice pleasant conversation. And after about four or five pleasant conversations with a person, you can ask them to do something fun or friend-ish together. Maybe sooner but it depends on how well you two click.

March 22, 2013
Q
Hey, this is Gilbert, and I watched your Plugs & Duds video on youtube. For future episodes, are you going to review comics and memorabilia from your collection?
Anonymous
A

Short answer: Yes!

Long answer: Eventually. I have to pull some stuff out of the garage, and if it requires a lot of extra work I might not do it. Plus, all of my really interesting memorabilia is in Washington. My dad is bringing it down to me in May, but that means I probably won’t talk about my oldest/most vintage toys until then. In the meantime, I do have a comic book Vlog planned for the immediate future.  

March 19, 2013 • 4 notes
Someone a while back asked me about my outlining process—here it is! I usually start by filling in a beat sheet, and at a certain point it becomes this.  Because I’d actually written the first half of the first act, I didn’t fill in any of those scenes. But this structure allows me to see how the story is shaping up and where there are gaps that need to be filled in. At a certain point, I also will tag scenes with colors indicating the type (action, emotional, etc.) so that I can have a good visual indicator of the pacing as well.

Someone a while back asked me about my outlining process—here it is! I usually start by filling in a beat sheet, and at a certain point it becomes this.  Because I’d actually written the first half of the first act, I didn’t fill in any of those scenes. But this structure allows me to see how the story is shaping up and where there are gaps that need to be filled in. At a certain point, I also will tag scenes with colors indicating the type (action, emotional, etc.) so that I can have a good visual indicator of the pacing as well.

March 13, 2013 • 11 notes
Q
I love writing. I used to write all the time. On road trips as a kid, during breaks in class. But they were all fanfiction, and those are great, but I want to write something original too. Every time I try, though, I stop because it doesn't feel good enough. I can spot cliches and hear all the possible criticisms, and it never feels original enough. I miss when I was a kid and could write without worrying about that stuff. It's like I care too much now. Any advice to get over it?
Anonymous
A

Once upon a time, I had a great idea for a story about a girl who was half-Angel. The word ‘nephilim’ popped into my head almost out of nowhere. Looking it up, I found that the word came in the first book of the Bible about the children of fallen angels. Ooh, I thought,  that’s interesting… Before I started the book, I did tons of research, and there were no Nephilim stories in YA fantasy. Zip. Zilch. I found one or two fallen angel stories, but they felt tonally very different than mine. 

So, I happily went to work. My book was finished about a year later and I released it, only to see a review that it was “yet another” “Half-Angel/Nephilim” story. “What?!” I thought. “Impossible!”

I went back to Amazon and ran a search. Wanna know what? I wasn’t the only Nephilim book anymore. Nope. Now there were literally dozens of ‘em. When I’d started writing my book, there hadn’t been any! Talk about frustrating!

But my book is the only one with the end of days—oh no, wait, it’s not, because there’s Penryn and the End of Days—but mine is the only one with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (as far as I’m aware of so far). 

Anyways, I got upset, but someone pointed out that there are about a million and one vampire books, and if my book were successful, people would have just ripped it off anyways. 

There will always be someone faster, more original, more creative, and overall better than you. Always. Whatever you write, it can be better. The Declaration of Independence? That could have been better. War and Peace? It could have been just a little bit more unique. 

Put it in perspective. There are millions of books. Your story will be a drop in the ocean of literary greatness. True originality is a figment of your imagination. Look at all of the books and the libraries out there. My grandma used to have a saying: “Ideas are like radio waves. Once you get one, use it as fast as you can before someone else picks it up with their dish.” (this is what I was trying to do with mine, but I was still too slow).

Besides, original’s good and all but I think it’s all in the  execution. You can take a run of the mill, boring-as-sand story, and if you execute it with skill, people will read it and love it.  What if Stephanie Meyer had said, “You know what? Buffy really ate up the whole ‘regular girl falls in love with a vampire’ audience, I shouldn’t even bother with my idea”? She’d have missed out big time. 

Finally, you have to accept that you can’t do art for outside validation. You will probably never have the validation you will need. Part of being an artist is striving for improvement, for perfection, and even if the New York Times says you are “closest to being genuinely funny,” which isn’t too bad, you will think, “I want the NY Times to say that I’m laugh out-loud funny. I want everyone to realize that I can make them laugh and cry in a ten minute span. I want my literature preserved in the Smithsonian. I want babies named after characters in my books. I want what I write to change the world.

…

…

…

I really just want someone to actually read it.”

So just write it out, dude. It’s never gonna get better unless it gets out. And maybe it’s original, maybe it’s not, but at least it’s out there. At least you did something and made something.

Revelations - Song of the Silvertongue

March 12, 2013 • 1 note • Spotify

Proof that my oldest brother and I share some sort of connection. Without knowing my current writing project, he sent me this song and said, “I had the feeling you’d like it.”

Man, it’s PERFECT for my current writing project. 

What’s creepy is that it’s the third time my brother has done this, and he never knows what I’m writing until it’s out. 

March 11, 2013 • 3 notes

A note on writer’s block

Disclaimer: I have been getting lots and lots and lots of questions on Writer’s Block. Way back when, when I hoped to have a blog about writing, I actually addressed this question. Then I shuttered the blog because I felt very presumptuous writing about how to write, when I am hardly as qualified as some of my peers.

But, the question pops up a lot, so here is my own humble advice. I touched on these things in a prior Tumblr post. This is an article that goes into more depth about how I get derailed in my projects, which is my own form of writer’s block. And please keep in mind, I’m still in the early Journeyman phase of my career. I’m not trying to say I’m a pro. I’m just explaining what I do, what I’ve learned so far, and how I tackle the tough part of getting done.  

Enjoy! Click here to read the full post!